The Oft-Wedded Waif by April Bernard
This is the poem that inspired me to post something by Edward Gorey the other day. Romanticism by April Bernard is this month’s selection for the poetry discussion group I attend.
The Oft-Wedded Waif
By April Bernard
homage to Edward Gorey
As an infant, Clothilde Hornbeam was wrapped in a kerchieft and left in a thicket.
She was adopted by wolves.
Eventually, they banished her.
She was taken in by the nuns at the Convent of the Impenetrable Heart.
She learned to play the organ, and wrote liturgical music in a secret language.
“Burn me in the fire and eat my fingers off / Babies are tasty, so don’t get in the way,” she sang.
An incident in the potting shed made it plain she lacked a vocation.
Clothilde’s first husband lost his nose in a fracas.
Her second husband ran away to join a pirate crew.
He sent home a macaw, who said: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
While married to her third husband, a race-track tout, Clothilde opened a bakery.
Cookies in the shape of babies and wolf cubs were her specialty.
After her fourth and fifth husbands were apprehended by the authorities, Clothilde could be found weeping into the icing.
The tear-dripped cookies secured her fortune.
