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Limericised Classics by Edwin Meade Robinson

A little something funny to go with my whiny previous post…

Limericised Classics
By Edwin Meade Robinson

I – HOW HOMER SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THE ILIAD

There was a young man named Achilles
Whose wrongs always gave him the willies;
   So he sulked in his tent
   Like a half-witted gent—
Say, wasn’t them heroes the sillies?

II – SHAKESPEARE MIGHT HAVE BOILED OTHELLO

There once way a guy named Othello,
A dark, disagreeable fellow;
   After croaking his wife
   Then he took his own life—
That bird wasn’t black, he was yellow!

III – THE RUBAIYAT

“A jug and a book and a dame,
And a nice shady nook for the same,”
   Said Omar Khayyám,
   ”And I don’t give a darn
What you say, it’s a great little game!”

IV – “TO LUCASTA, ON GOING TO THE WARS”

“Lucasta,” said Terence O’Connor,
“I’m drafted – I guess I’m a goner!
   I know it will grieve you
   To death, when I leave you—
But gosh! how I’m stuck on my honor!”

V – SPOON RIVER ANTHOLOGY

I dropped my wad
Cornering cotton. Then
I died.
Now, I guess I’m forgotten.
Well, that swell
Epitaph that I’ve got
Makes me laugh.
When I lived
I was certainly rotten!